My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
