I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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