I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
