I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
