shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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