she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
