i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
