So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize