How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
