Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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