He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
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He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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