he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
