ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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