I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
