oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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