my mouth tastes like poor choices
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
