I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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