haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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