I think I am morally bankrupt
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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