Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
