bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My liver is preforming stress tests.
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