found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
