i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.