A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.