I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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