Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We left the knife in your bed.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
