do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
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Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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