In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
