You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
