And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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