Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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