"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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