Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
