thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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