"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
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Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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