your room smells of hookers.
And success
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
