We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
