using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
