Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
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Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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