I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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