Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
