I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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