I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
