Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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