Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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