I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
