It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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