you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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