At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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