so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
