He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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