Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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