I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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