would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You need a sexual gate keeper
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
