I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
