If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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