one might say we're banned from that church
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
