I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
