I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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