Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
