He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He passed out mid-signature
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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