well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
