How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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