p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize